The Life Goals List

Boy, did I luck out. This house-sitting experience has turned out to be fantastic. Not only did I get to try out a trendy new world-class city…for free…but the house I’m sitting for is beautiful!

It’s funny how we can throw something out to the universe and have the universe answer us.

Other great things happened this weekend too. For one, I was stopped by a police officer while walking around downtown…who stopped me just to flirt!  LOL.  Now I’m asking him for his advice on what sections of town would be safe to live in.

I also followed one of my passions…ballroom dancing…and met some wonderful people who have since been in touch with their own recommendations.

I feel like I was led here because things have been so easy. It was exciting to see and live in this new city as if I was already a resident. What a great way to try out a new place to live.

It’s not that I have to move. I want to. I am following a life dream to live in a world-class city. At least once in my life.

I keep a list of “to dos” that I want to accomplish.  I call it my Life Goals list. They include things like driving a wagon train across the Oregon Trail, digging for dinosaurs in Montana, and attending cooking school in Italy.  Simple items include dinner at the country club and learning magic.  I keep an ongoing list of new things to try, and I check them off as I do them. It is a fun pleasure at the end of each year to look back at the list to see what I’ve done and what I have yet to look forward to.

It is equally as exciting to plan the next challenge as it is to experience it. And working as a travel writer, I can write and encourage others to create and follow their dreams.

Do you have any kind of list of Life Goals? What’s on your list? What do you call your list?

Trying Out A New City–For Free–Thanks to Craigslist

Sometimes we just have to do something crazy. Or maybe it’s the “send it out to the universe and it will come back to you” theory I’ve espoused. But I am considering relocating to a world-class city from a mid-sized capital city and am exploring a way that’s not quite the normal way.

I researched hotel pricing and found it exhorbitant, so I thought I’d try a crazy way to find lodging…for free…while I explore and check out how I feel about the new city. (When you’re single you have a lot more options than couples do.)

My friends think I’m nuts, but I placed an ad on Craigslist explaining that I wanted to come to visit the city and asking if anyone wanted a pet-sitter or someone to live in and watch their house while they traveled on vacation or abroad for either no cost (a trade) or a low cost.

I got calls.

I explained that I was an middle-aged (heaven forbid) woman; quiet and responsible. And that I had done this before.

So this weekend I am staying at a woman’s house who is going on vacation. She has offered her house for the entire week. It is in THE most desirable and high-end area of the city I’m considering…how lucky is that! I can’t wait to see it. We’ve talked on the telephone and I think we’re going to become friends if I move there too. We have very similar backgrounds and career aspirations and are going to go to a wine bar together on Friday night after she gives me a tour of the pet care responsibilities so we can talk about our futures.

While I’m there, I’m going to check out a second opportunity of a woman who wants to rent me her house for a really good price because she was intrigued by my ad. That would line up an affordable place to move to in this not-so-affordable area.

This isn’t the first time I’ve found such accommodations on Craigslist. Two years ago I went to Austin TX for 10 days on a similar pet-sitting adventure while the owners were in Europe. I was looking for a sublet on Craigslist, saw their ad, and worked out the details over the phone. They told me what area of town they lived in and when I researched it I found out it also was in the best and most toney neighborhood. But I was in for a surprise when I got there. These accommodations weren’t quite as lush as what I’m expecting this weekend…it was a  3-room carriage house that you had to walk sideways through to get past the kitchen counter.

They also didn’t tell me they didn’t own a TV set, so that was one of my first purchases…that I returned at the end of the 10 days before driving home, but don’t tell the store.

I know that being a single woman traveling alone that I have to be careful. But I’m willing to give alternative options a chance. All it takes is a little bit of creativity, a release from thoughts of what you “should” do, a belief that if you ask it will come, and a modicum of nerve.

One web site I’ve been curious about is called “couch surfing.” Supposedly there is a list of people who offer a place to sleep at their house…whether a bedroom or a couch…for free. Unspoken rules say that you should take the homeowner out to dinner though as a return favor. I’m not sure I’m brave enough to give this one a try yet, but hey, I just may.

Do you have a story of how you tried something different than the “norm?” I’d love to hear it.

It Must Be Hard Being the Pretty One

As I was expounding on my last dating disaster with my sister she declared, “It must be hard being the pretty one.”  For she has never had the type of experiences I have had. I’ll tell you, the men I meet nowadays have one thing on their mind. Sex. Generally within the first one, two, or three dates.  Now I’m using the word “they” instead of “he” because it seems to be part of the modern male’s script, and they all seem to have read it.

It starts with the kiss on the first meeting. Simple. Nice.  Then on the second date, they’re leaning in for a tonsil cleanser and the hand scoots up inside the blouse.  Of course I put the kabash on it right away.

Then the guilting starts.

“What’s wrong?” they ask, dragging out the last part of the word wrong into two or more syllables. ”Don’t you want it?”  “It’ll be fun…”  they drone on while the hands continue to forage for flesh.

“No,” I reply. Simply and firmly. “I’m just not ready to go to that stage yet.” Seems clear to me.

But no. They take it to the next level. “What’s wrong with YOU?” they start in an unusually high-toned voice. “We’ll just sleep together. We don’t have to DO anything, OK?”

Yeah, right.

“It’ll be OK.  Won’t it be nice for me to hold you all night?  Come on…”

This is where they start unbuttoning and removing the shirt and belt.

“No.” I repeat, this time a little more perterbed.

Now they get angry. “Well if you’re not going to sleep with me…and I mean just sleep…then I’m leaving.”  They get dressed and head for the door.  I don’t say a word.

Sometimes they leave and slam the door behind them. Other times they give a perfunctory hug at the door and then leave. But in all cases, they don’t come back.

Now I’m such an old-fashioned girl and expect to be courted in a gentlemanly way, and to get to know someone  before I leap into bed with them. Is there something wrong with that?

My theory is that we women are training men to be this way. Because of those women who do not uphold their standards and who do go to bed with men right away. So that’s what they expect from a woman and that’s what they get. Those of us who want something more…a more solid relationship, a future…where does that leave us? Surely there are nice men out there???

My sister says it’s because I’m pretty. That the men just fall all over me when they meet me. They are usually telling me “I’m the one” within two or three dates. Sometimes they even propose! I had a ring offered to me on a third date one time.

But even though I’m “the one” they can’t wait to get to know me before wanting to jump into bed. Hmmm, is that part of the script? They know what women want to hear?

Read the new book by Steve Harvey titled, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.” It helps explain why men think the way they do, from the male perspective, and what we ladies should do to hold our ground.

Let me know your dating stories.