Going Alone is More Fun

I can remember anymore being afraid to go anyplace alone. In fact, I rather prefer it now. When you go places with friends or dates, you pretty much end up talking to only them and miss out on all the interesting people you come into contact with on your outing.

I was eating lunch by myself in a Fort Worth restaurant when an older couple at the next table noticed me. “Why honey, what are you doing sitting over there by yourself?” the woman questioned. “You just come on over here and eat with us.”

So I did.

By the end of the meal, not only had I made new friends, but I found out what they did and did not like about living in Fort Worth, and could have had a weekend date with their dentist. It was an enriching experience.

I’ve been asked out on dates, found a tour guide to a new city, and received a necklace from a man at a bar who was planning on giving it to his girlfriend before she dumped him for another guy. He was so grateful for my empathetic ear that he pulled the wrapped box out of his pocket and insisted I take it.

I’ve learned new fishing techniques, had someone fix my car, got discounts at a flea market just for chatting with the vendor, and free items I was coveting  at a yard sale but couldn’t afford. I was invited to join a community choir, learned the latest two-stepping moves, been invited to a party that needed “pretty women” to fill out the guest list, and learned hands-on knowledge of harvesting grapes.

I don’t think any of these opportunities would have come along had I been part of a couple or a group, mostly because I would have paid attention to my partner and not been open to new people and opportunities.

Am I sometimes fearful of starting out? Sure, I can be, but I go anyway and have never regretted it.  Do I get lonely? Not really. There’s always something interesting to see, do or learn, and someone to talk to. Am I an extrovert? I score right on the line between Introvert and Extrovert. Am I a wild thing? Not likely; I’m a conservative middle-aged woman, so if I can do it, so can you.

I guess I just don’t understand the pack mentality. I’m here to say don’t be afraid to venture out, even if you don’t have anyone to go with. Enjoy the single life.

I can’t wait to see what will happen the next time I go out.

The Life Goals List

Boy, did I luck out. This house-sitting experience has turned out to be fantastic. Not only did I get to try out a trendy new world-class city…for free…but the house I’m sitting for is beautiful!

It’s funny how we can throw something out to the universe and have the universe answer us.

Other great things happened this weekend too. For one, I was stopped by a police officer while walking around downtown…who stopped me just to flirt!  LOL.  Now I’m asking him for his advice on what sections of town would be safe to live in.

I also followed one of my passions…ballroom dancing…and met some wonderful people who have since been in touch with their own recommendations.

I feel like I was led here because things have been so easy. It was exciting to see and live in this new city as if I was already a resident. What a great way to try out a new place to live.

It’s not that I have to move. I want to. I am following a life dream to live in a world-class city. At least once in my life.

I keep a list of “to dos” that I want to accomplish.  I call it my Life Goals list. They include things like driving a wagon train across the Oregon Trail, digging for dinosaurs in Montana, and attending cooking school in Italy.  Simple items include dinner at the country club and learning magic.  I keep an ongoing list of new things to try, and I check them off as I do them. It is a fun pleasure at the end of each year to look back at the list to see what I’ve done and what I have yet to look forward to.

It is equally as exciting to plan the next challenge as it is to experience it. And working as a travel writer, I can write and encourage others to create and follow their dreams.

Do you have any kind of list of Life Goals? What’s on your list? What do you call your list?

Trying Out A New City–For Free–Thanks to Craigslist

Sometimes we just have to do something crazy. Or maybe it’s the “send it out to the universe and it will come back to you” theory I’ve espoused. But I am considering relocating to a world-class city from a mid-sized capital city and am exploring a way that’s not quite the normal way.

I researched hotel pricing and found it exhorbitant, so I thought I’d try a crazy way to find lodging…for free…while I explore and check out how I feel about the new city. (When you’re single you have a lot more options than couples do.)

My friends think I’m nuts, but I placed an ad on Craigslist explaining that I wanted to come to visit the city and asking if anyone wanted a pet-sitter or someone to live in and watch their house while they traveled on vacation or abroad for either no cost (a trade) or a low cost.

I got calls.

I explained that I was an middle-aged (heaven forbid) woman; quiet and responsible. And that I had done this before.

So this weekend I am staying at a woman’s house who is going on vacation. She has offered her house for the entire week. It is in THE most desirable and high-end area of the city I’m considering…how lucky is that! I can’t wait to see it. We’ve talked on the telephone and I think we’re going to become friends if I move there too. We have very similar backgrounds and career aspirations and are going to go to a wine bar together on Friday night after she gives me a tour of the pet care responsibilities so we can talk about our futures.

While I’m there, I’m going to check out a second opportunity of a woman who wants to rent me her house for a really good price because she was intrigued by my ad. That would line up an affordable place to move to in this not-so-affordable area.

This isn’t the first time I’ve found such accommodations on Craigslist. Two years ago I went to Austin TX for 10 days on a similar pet-sitting adventure while the owners were in Europe. I was looking for a sublet on Craigslist, saw their ad, and worked out the details over the phone. They told me what area of town they lived in and when I researched it I found out it also was in the best and most toney neighborhood. But I was in for a surprise when I got there. These accommodations weren’t quite as lush as what I’m expecting this weekend…it was a  3-room carriage house that you had to walk sideways through to get past the kitchen counter.

They also didn’t tell me they didn’t own a TV set, so that was one of my first purchases…that I returned at the end of the 10 days before driving home, but don’t tell the store.

I know that being a single woman traveling alone that I have to be careful. But I’m willing to give alternative options a chance. All it takes is a little bit of creativity, a release from thoughts of what you “should” do, a belief that if you ask it will come, and a modicum of nerve.

One web site I’ve been curious about is called “couch surfing.” Supposedly there is a list of people who offer a place to sleep at their house…whether a bedroom or a couch…for free. Unspoken rules say that you should take the homeowner out to dinner though as a return favor. I’m not sure I’m brave enough to give this one a try yet, but hey, I just may.

Do you have a story of how you tried something different than the “norm?” I’d love to hear it.

Vacationing Single in the Outer Banks

I returned from a successful week at the Travel Writer’s Conference where I made invaluable contacts for future assignments, and directly headed out on a much-needed vacation. The family rented one of those mega-mansions at the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Nags Head to be exact. Ten days of sun and relaxation.  With 11 family and family friend members?  It could have gone either way, but it was a surprisingly pleasant experience. The size of the house helped. Six bedroom suites.  And so did the mix of people.  Family AND friends to temper everyone into their best behavior.  I created a white board similar to the ones we used in college to check in and out of the dorm. This kept track of everyone’s whereabouts, and you didn’t have to tell anyone where you were going, leaving yourself open for “take me” pleadings.

What surprised me is how LITTLE people went to the beach. Come on, people.  We’re at The Beach.  Sand. Surf. Warm sun. What did they do?  Hang out by the pool at the house. Watch TV. Go shopping.  Not me, as the single explorer I am, I took off on adventure. Now I’m not one to sit still very long, so I took my new toy…my metal detector…and headed for the beach. The first weekend wasn’t too bad as there weren’t many people on the beach. And the sand revealed coin after coin. No diamond rings though…the ultimate treasure. The second weekend I popped up over the dunes with detector in tow to discover scads of mostly-naked bodies covering my prime hunting ground. Embarrased, I slunk back to the car, hoping desperately that nobody noticed my nerdy self with my hat, shovel, pink goodie bag and the oh-so-obvious metal detector. So NOT cool. I hid the detector in the car and quickly left, vowing to return that evening for the spoils. I grabbed my nephew as cover and we did return to find more coins, beer bottle caps, and even a very fine corkscrew.

Being a history buff and a veteran travel writer, I landed some media passes to the historical sights along the Outer Banks, including the Elizabethan Gardens, Fort Raleigh, and the Wright Brother’s Memorial National Park. Nothing excites me more than standing on the ground where history was made. The new(ish) visitor’s center at the Wright Brother’s Memorial was an excellent addition to the park, built to celebrate the 100th anniversary in 2003.   

If only I had my metal detector with me…

One of the joys of being single is the ability to slide into family gatherings without much commitment. The couples do the cooking, the cleaning, the planning. The poor single girl just has to show up and be pampered. A good gig, if I do say so. I ate great meals, enjoyed a luxurious suite with a huge porch and a view of the ocean, and in return performed my magic act and held regular happy hours for the group. I guess it was up to me to liven things up and entertain the crowd. I could come and go without having to check in with anyone. I could sleep with the windows open and listen to the waves hitting the shore.  I saw fabulous historical sights. Not paying for a vacation, but enjoying my visit as an invited guest. What’s one extra person?

Please share your stories of your vacation as a single person with me. How do you fit in with family vacations?  What do you do?

Travel For Free as a Travel Writer

Sailing at 2008's conference in Annapolis, MD

 

I love to travel. But as a single person, I have several concerns. One, I don’t always like to go alone. Two, I feel funny and shy signing up for group tours where I don’t know anybody. And three, they charge more for a single traveler than a couple.  So that’s when I learned how to turn my interest into profit and travel for free by becoming a travel writer. My friends all say, “teach me,” but I just smile and tell them it’s a great gig.  I get to travel pretty much anywhere I want to go, and I get to write about it and get paid for writing. As for friends, I’ve made great friends in the travel writing community whom I often see on the various trips I make throughout the year. So I have traveling companions who share this common interest.

Right now I’m packing to go to the annual Mid-Atlantic Travel Writer’s conference–this year in Delaware. Each year a different state hosts the region’s travel writers with a conference and lots of fun side trips and activities.  And it’s all sponsored by the state’s tourism people.  I’m sure I will come back with some interesting trip ideas that I’ll talk about on my posts.

I’d like to develop a forum where we can share our travel ideas a single people.  Send me your best travel locations for singles, and how you cope with little money, lack of traveling companions, and coping skills for traveling alone.